Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday

It is 2:30 am and I am just getting in bed. It could be worse I guess but it sure could have been a lot better. This year I decided to check out early to see if there were going to be any sales I needed to save for. The only one that I really wanted to get was at Walmart and it was for the Toy Story 3 dolls they had on sale for $12, regular price $25. I asked two people if I were to buy them before black Friday if I could bring them back and then get the sale price for them. I asked 2 different people because I wanted to make sure that I had the right answer, both were yes as long as I bought them less than a week before the add.

So with the help of my mom and 2 Walmarts I got a complete set of Jesse, Woody, and Buz and saved the receipt and had them ready to go back sometime Friday since the sale price was an all day thing starting at midnight. Then I got the actual paper add for Walmart today and saw that the True Blood season 1 was going to be on sale for $12. I was so happy because I bought it when it first came out, got a great deal on it for $30 (regular was $50 at the time, $40 now) but one of the discs came up missing and I'm pretty sure I know what happened to it. Anyway, I had this great idea that I could go to Walmart at 10pm and pick up what I wanted and just wait until midnight to buy everything. And my plan would have worked except for some misinformation... Yeah, we'll call it misinformation.

First I went to electronics and picked up the last 2 copies of True Blood (one is a gift) and then I hit toys because my kids have decided they want some Zhu Zhu pets. There were plenty there but only 2 styles which were already purchased for Christmas. Then I found one that was pink and another that was purple. Awesome, so I put them in my cart. Then I went to look for the DS games that they had on sale for $9. The only one I could find was the one that was for the Zhu Zhu pets.. for $9 I could get it even though I think those things are so fugly. Anyway, I headed over to the toys and saw they had a bunch of Woody and Buz dolls. I figured I might as well get a few more since they were there and it would hopefully help the fighting over the ones I already got.

So I had them in my cart, I was done shopping and I was heading up to the front of the store to sit on a bench until midnight when I could get the sale prices... but one of the employees guarding a stack of toys to keep people from getting it too early told me that the dolls that were on the shelf were not the ones that would be on sale. The ones that were going to be on sale were a special doll, different packaging and they would NOT match the price from the black Friday doll for the one they have in store. Now since I'm an employee I know that they special order things in for black Friday sales, like the PJs and the storage containers, and a LOT of other things that are on sale that they don't usually carry on a daily basis. So I thought the dolls would be a special just for walmart set of dolls.

So I'm thinking damn, the dolls I have at home I won't be able to get the special price for so since I'm waiting I might as well get 2 full sets. Against my better judgement I put the dolls I had already picked out back on the shelf and went and found the pile of dolls that were wrapped all up in saran wrap. If I had been smart I would have taken them with me and compared them, but there was already a line waiting for some things and people were getting yelled at just for trying to look through the wrap at the product. So at 10:30 I stood in front of the Toy Story 3 dolls and waited. And waited. And waited. Employees were guarding to make sure we didn't open it before midnight and then about 10 minutes or so before midnight someone came up and was holding a Buz doll from the shelf that I had put mine back onto. The employees almost attacked her telling her she couldn't have it yet when she told them she got it off the shelf. I told them that I was told that they weren't the same... So the gal Tammy who was guarding the toys in my area checked and sure enough they were the same damn thing. I was so peeved it wasn't funny. I do have to say that after explaining what had happened Tammy went back to the shelf to see if there were any more left. There were only 2 Buz dolls and I figured I had waited over an hour I wasn't going to give up now.

So then they came back and said that we couldn't have the shopping carts with us, that we could only buy what we could hold. So I was pretty pissed because I already had things in my shopping cart. But luckily I had worn a sweater with a big pocket in the front. I put the 2 True Bloods in there with the ds game and stuck the Zhu Zhu pets up my sleeves. That way I had my hands free, also I had went from wanting 2 sets to only wanting 1. So then midnight came and they were cutting the wrapping off the toys that were 4 layers high. I knew that the 2 rows by me were all Buz, and the 2 rows further away were Jesse with 2 Woodys at the end. I also knew that there were Woodys on the end of all 4 layers. So when people started shoving at me from behind I grabbed 2 of the Buz toys (I only wanted one but they were back to back and that is just the way it happened) I tried for an upper level Woody but they got taken out of my hand. So I grabbed a Jesse and went for a Woody from the lower level. As soon as I had all 3 I backed up as fast as I could. I checked to make sure that I did have the right ones and looked back up and the people on the other side had shoved Tammy who had been cutting the wrap, into the pile and a bunch of management were shoving people aside to save her. I was lucky that my side weren't quite as aggressive up front, only the people in the back. So I hid down a side isle and got a cart to put my things in. Then I went back over and put the extra Buz back.

Then I went to get in line. The lines were clear to the back of the store. So I walked around for about 10 minutes, went over to check out the movies they had for $2 and they were a little better so I got in one of the huge lines. As we went through the store the line took me right by the PJs that were on sale, and there were different movies from the big sale shoved everywhere, like someone took a huge cart full and then picked through them. So just by being in line I got almost everything that I wanted to get but didn't want to waste time getting. Then there was a picture frame that I was looking at just sitting there, so I put it in my cart. When I was finally close to the register there were more and more piles of movies for me to go through. I was talking to the lady behind me and she was asking about the different movies and I told her that the one that I really wanted was the 3 Lord of the Rings movies because they were on sale for $2 each but I didn't want to loose my place in line. The guy in front of me told me that he knew where a whole bunch of them were and if I would hold onto his pillows and movies that he was buying (he didn't have a cart) he would get them for me. So about a minute later I had all but 1 thing that I really wanted.

So then it was finally my turn to put my things on the belt after over an hour in line. As I finish putting my things up I looked at one of the registers that didn't have anyone working on it and saw the last thing I wanted. It was a waffle maker for $9, the kind that you flip to cook. I was so freaking happy that I ran over and grabbed it. Then as I was rang up I found out that the Zhu Zhu pets that I picked up were NOT part of the add... but they were too ugly for $9 so I had her take them off.

I paid for my things and now here I am at almost 3am still venting because I could have been home a lot sooner. I wouldn't have everything else so it is kind of bittersweet. I guess I won't complain too much because I'm going to sleep in my nice warm bed until my kids wake me up while so many people are camping out in tents at stores waiting until 5am. And on the way home my van said it was only 15 degrees outside, and that is Fahrenheit.

I am done with my shopping for the year with the exception of 2 things that I have to buy online. Now I've just got to wrap it all up.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I hate the child support office sometimes

When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter I told her father that if he abandoned me while I was pregnant I would go after him for child support. I guess he either didn't believe me or didn't care but he left and I didn't hear from him for a long time. So as soon as I was recovered from my csection enough I went and applied to open a child support case against him. I expected to get a call or something but a few months went by and I didn't hear anything. So I went back down to the office to ask them about the status of it. They had no record of it. So I filled out another application. Every few months I would go down and they wouldn't have a record of my last visit. Finally after almost a year I demanded that I spoke with a supervisor. After a lot of people telling me that I couldn't possibly talk to a supervisor I finally got one. By that time I was completely pissed off and almost yelling. I had been in 7 times, turned in 7 applications and nobody knew who's ass they got shoved into. The supervisor told me that he couldn't possibly help me but I could fill out yet another application. When I asked how I could be sure that somebody would do something he told me to sign up for all the benefits health and welfare had to offer. So I filled out my 8th application along with an application for food stamps, cash assistance, day care, and everything else that I possibly could. A few weeks go buy and they send me another application in the mail telling me that since I was eligible for a few things I applied for that I had to fill out an application for child support. At this point I wanted to scream because it must be too damn hard for people to actually do their job. What the hell are these state employees getting paid to do since they won't even do what is in their job description?! So I filled out my 9th application and turned it in. I got a call the next day saying I had to fill out an application but have it notarized since they had recently changed the process. So I filled out my 10th application, had it notarized and threatened to cause a huge scene if I had to fill out one more damn application.

So a month later a lawyer for the state contacted me and said that they were going to get a court order for a dna test because Carl was saying that he didn't think my daughter was his. The lawyer told me this process usually takes about 6 months. Great, just effing great. Then two weeks later I got a letter saying that I had to be at the collection site 4 days from when I got the letter. They gave me FOUR days notice. It was a good thing I was able to switch my shifts or I would have been screwed. So I waited and waited and waited. The test was done in April when My daughter was almost a year and a half old. Finally in July I called the lawyer and asked if they had the results back. Of course they had them back in April but child support hadn't gotten around to notifying me. The next day I got my first child support payment. They told me that they would order back child support from the day that I applied. I thought they meant from the first application, but no, it was only for the last.

So I thought we were done playing, I hoped we were done playing because they wouldn't play fair. Not so much. Carl became disabled this summer and now qualifies for SSI. Because my daughter is his dependant he listed her in hopes of him getting more SSI. Since she lives with me the money will be coming to me. I had a lady from SSI send me a form and I needed to send that with a copy of her birth certificate with Carl added as her father from the DNA test. So I got the form, filled it out, sent in my money and got her birth certificate yesterday.... And he was not listed as her father. I called the vital statistics office and they said they never received what they needed from child support. So I called child support and explained what had happened and the gal said no problem, she would have the lady in charge of that forward the dna test and whatever else they needed to get him added to the birth certificate.

Today while I was at work this gal called and said that she got an email and there wasn't enough information on it to know what she needed to do to help me but I should have a nice day. Nothing about me calling her back to clear it up, nothing except she just couldn't help but she hoped I had a nice day. So I called child support and explained again what was going on. They told me that vital statistics had to add him. So I called vital statistics and they said they couldn't do anything at all until they got the paperwork from child support. I called child support again and they tried to tell me that they couldn't help me, only vital statistics could. The lady kind of got an attitude with me so I got enough of an attitude with her that she put me on hold to look into it. After about five minutes on hold she finally came back. She said that in order to add him to the birth certificate there had to be specific wording in the dna court order to add him. And there was they just never did their job and sent it over. For some reason since it has been so long they have to go through the court again to have the judge order him to be added to her birth certificate before they can send the information over. Then I have to wait for vital statistics to update their information before I fill out another form and send more money in.

The gal told me that it would be about 2 weeks and then it takes about a week to get the birth certificate back after it is ordered. I kind of started to feel bad because Carl can't get his benefits until I get her birth certificate turned in. The whole application is on hold waiting for me. Then I decided that I wouldn't feel bad or guilty because it is not my problem that he wasn't there to sign her birth certificate in the first place. If he had been I wouldn't be going through this whole thing so he can just wait. Not my problem he can't be a man.

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Regret is something that everyone experiences, some more than others. Sometimes it is something small like the choice you made in what shoes you wore. Sometimes it is huge, a life altering event that leads to something major like the creation or destruction of life.

Through our choices in our life we develop who we are. We learn from our mistakes, giving us the choice to avoid or repeat them in the future. These experiences makes us who we are as a person. Everyone has regret but in the end it is both the negative and positive experiences that give us our outlook on life and forms our personality.

I have plenty of regret. Would I go back and do any of it over again? No, I don't want to. Even changing just one small thing, one second of an experience could alter my life. The butterfly effect. I love my life and don't want to change my past. Do I wish things were different in some aspects of my life? Of course I do but that is why I'm going to use the future to change it.

Over the past year and a half I made some bad choices that I thought were good for my family at the time. These choices helped make a little clearer the difference between being used and helping someone. My choices broke my daughter's heart after she got to know her dad and then he left. Overall though, I'm glad this happened when she was young because I think it would be harder to accept the fact that for over six months her dad worked to get to know her and gain her trust but in the end he still doesn't want her. It also answered my questions that I had. I always wondered if he would show up later in her life and decide that she is good enough for him to want to be her dad. Him walking out of her life proved to me the same thing I learned when I got divorced. She's too good for him. I refuse to raise her thinking it is okay to run from your responsibilities.

Two great things came out of everything and those two things outweigh any of the loss I had over the past year and a half. First, I learned that I really do want to buy a house. Form now on it won't be just talk, it won't be just a dream that someday might come true. It is a goal that I will be working for. And the greatest thing is my son. I know he was meant to be because just a few weeks before I got pregnant I tried to break up with his dad for that very reason. I wasn't sure if I wanted more, I know he didn't but I wanted to keep my options open. He lied and said things that I believed and I ended up with my son. All the pain and heartbreak I felt when I discovered all his lies is pale in comparison to the love I have for my kids. That is the greatest feeling in the world, love. So when I start to think of the bad things and start feeling regret, I replace it with thoughts of my kids and my love for them.